Im coming back soon..

Bon Voyage. Before starting my journey home, I heard this phrase a lot today as I walked around the orphanage saying my good-byes starting at 6:30 this morning. I also heard Vini ankò vit, which means, Come back again quickly. There are 61 kids at the orphanage, and I got at least 100 hugs, smiles, and “I’ll miss you’s”.  Even the littlest one, Biverly, told Madam Margrie, her nanny, that she wanted to say bye-bye to Ita. (She doesn’t talk that much yet, so all the nannies were pretty astonished to hear her say all that). Yea, Ita (ee-ta), it’s my nickname and nicknames stick in Haiti, so I will be called that forever and I love it!

But my favorite good-bye was when I was given a handmade purse from a young boy—a kid whom I have been earnestly dedicated (with only God’s great patience) to consistently and intently pouring Jesus’ love into his life. Mind you, he didn’t personally give it to me, but a friend of his brought it to me—but yes, Jhonny the troublesome, 11 year old you have heard me talk about on couple different occasions, reached out to me in the way he knew how, gave to me something he personally made, to tell me he loves me and is going to be missing me while I am away. My heart literally felt like it was melting inside my body and tears are coming to my eyes as I am writing this beautiful story. I love these children—God’s beautiful creation, even in the little gestures that have HUGE meanings.

 I also truly enjoyed being able to explain to two of the little boys that I would be returning to Haiti very soon. I told them in the Creole I have learned, that they will be missing me for just one month, and then I’ll be back in Haiti. I haven’t ever seen my little friend Wenchy smiling at a “good-bye” before. I am so excited to officially call myself an administrator of the Cap Haitien Children’s Home. I’m leaving now to go and visit my biological family and wonderful friends, but soon I’ll return to my newfound family and God-willing be with them for at least 2 years as their mother, sister, leader and friend.

It warms my heart, to not cry or not have too many tears at our good-bye, because I’m returning to my family soon.  These people in Haiti are now my family, and they will be my family forever.

M’ap vini ankò vit Ayiti—I’m coming back soon Haiti.

So much to be thankful for...

I am thankful that I have rats in my house to show me how blessed I am to have lived without them my whole life. I am thankful not to have electricity all the time to give me more silence and time with God. I am thankful I do not have the freedom to come and go from my house as I please, so I can spend more time with my neighbors and loved ones that surround me in my home. I am thankful for the postal service, without them I wouldn’t have half of the things I have that the generous people in my life send me. I am thankful for my cold shower, because some of my friends take baths with buckets in the streets. I am thankful for the creativity of the children that surround me, because they play with trash and are completely entertained by it. I am thankful to not have a dishwasher to be able to sing, dance and do my dishes with my friends that always want to help me. I am thankful I don’t have a washer and dryer to be able to understand how hard Haitien’s work each and every day to clean their clothes. I am thankful for my mosquito net to protect me from those feisty little bugs. I am thankful for earplugs, so I can sleep peacefully through the night without hearing all the cats, dogs, chickens, goats, and roosters of the city. I am thankful for the internet so I can continue in my tradition of Black Friday shopping while in Haiti. I am thankful for books, to hear messages from people to stretch me, help me and direct me. I am thankful for blogs, to hear about other people’s experiences and lives all around the world.  

I am thankful for traditions, because I am able to express how thankful I am for my wonderful family and friends. I am thankful for our new church we have formed with the missionaries here in Haiti—with their support, fellowship, even speaking the same language and being from the same culture, we can grow together, understand each other, feed our hungers for God, and teach and cheer each other on in the work we are doing here. I am thankful for all the hardships I have faced to have helped me understand God is guiding, disciplining, and instructing me to trust in His plans and not my own. I am thankful for my family, because I couldn’t give to these kids the way I am able to without their love, care and guidance throughout my life. I am thankful for my friends, for the encouragement and growth they have helped provide and continue to give to my walk with God.

 I am so thankful God has led me here to this beautiful place with these beautiful people during Thanksgiving for me to truly see the many of simple and vast blessings of my life.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

A Greater Apprecation for Moms

So the other day I was making scrambled eggs and man were they good. I hadn’t had eggs in a very long time, and I stopped and thought a lot about them and why I loved them so much. The next day I was making French toast and thought the same thing, and it keeps coming up so much in my time here. Then I had a revelation, my job is to be a mom.  I am to teach these kids what my mom taught me. In the midst of the helping assist run this orphanage and home schooling, I am a mom to 61 kids of ages 18 months to 22 years old. Yea, you are probably thinking, well yea Tabitha you have talked about that in your previous blogs, or what did you expect when going to an orphanage, but I really don’t think you can understand what I mean—I want you to think of every time your mom gave you something, taught you, helped you, or even disciplined you, and think of where you would be without her giving heart and wisdom. And then think of how I am that for these kids here who don’t have mom’s to give that to them.

When the girls are hurting from a broken heart, I am supposed to use my past experience, my mother’s advice and give all I can to these girls to help them heal and know what a man of God might look like; I am supposed to teach these kids my ways, to cook scrambled eggs with them, to make the best French toast in the world with them, to help and teach them to clean up their messes when they make them, to take them to their choral festivals at church and give them encouraging words and cheer them on, watch and encourage them while they play basketball and soccer games, sit and do homework with them, even teach them myself in home school,  sing songs to them at bed time, make snacks for them, discipline and teach them when they don’t listen or follow instructions, patch up boo-boos and give TLC when they are out of control crying over someone saying “shut up” to them, and last but not least teach them the word of God and be an example of Christ to them with my own life.

Now that is some big responsibility.  

With that being said, I am in need of your prayers. I need you to pray that God gives me the strength that moms all over the world have to take care of their children, because I want to be just like them. I need you to pray for God’s wisdom for my life—for me to be able to give so much knowledge and words of God’s wisdom to these kids. And lastly pray that I can feel successful at this mom thing, because being a mom to 61 kids is a ridiculously draining job that you really don’t feel very good at sometimes.

So, that leads into an obvious conclusion that I have a greater appreciation for moms and the jobs they do and continue to do throughout their entire lives for us. So give some props to your mom, and the next time you see her give her the biggest hug, kiss and “thank you” you possibly can, because she made you who you are today and will keep giving all she can to you until the day she can’t anymore.

Living and LOVING life here at the CHCH.

I can assume with the combination of the storms and hurricanes passing through the Atlantic and me being pretty terrible at keeping up with my blog, your minds are probably wondering if I am even still alive. Well here I am, alive and well, and LOVING my life here in Haiti.

And why has it taken me so long to write to you?

Well here are a few REALLY good reasons:

 1. Because we had a team in from Utah for 14 days, whom I might add were a fabulous, hardworking, and lovely group of people that I am so blessed to have had the pleasure of meeting and working with, and in the duration of their trip, we were all pretty occupied here at CHCH helping their team get settled in, getting projects organized and started, and in the meantime, running around every which direction completing the day to day tasks to keep this orphanage running.

2. We had another small team of two women (Adrienne and Maggie) come in with such creative and amazing plans for outreach within the community and surrounding areas—so we were out  quite a bit with those lovely ladies learning from their beautiful examples how to love and serve our neighbors.

3. I have also been quite active in my attempts to keep my family and close friends updated on my well being, and with our source of internet, that in itself is a rather frustrating and time consuming process.

4. Every day is different here at CHCH, so I get overwhelmed when trying to think of how to update you on what my responsibilities look like on a daily basis. I want to, but there are just so many different jobs and roles we play.

And last but not least, 5. I can’t find the words or even know how to begin to describe to you the beauty of these 61 children.

So finally with all that said, I am going to stop everything I am doing and do my best to fill you in on what life is like here at CHCH, because you all need and deserve to know.

Okay, I know that everyone is busy in their life: going to school, having a job, maybe even raising a family, but here at the orphanage, Hunter, Jillian, and I, the three of us, keeping this place up and running is to say it lightly is A LOT of work. The children come to us crying with their boo-boos, wanting us to sign off and give them permission for them to go off the grounds, needing money for school, transportation, clothes, food, or just simply needing some good ole TLC. The staff comes to us with questions, concerns, and/or problems. People in our neighborhood come to our door asking us to fulfill their needs of money, food, sending them to school, or even for us to take in their children if they are unable to care for them.  Every so often, we also have meetings here at the orphanage with the organization that is arranging the adoption process for 6 of our kids, so we can stay up to date and hands on in those processes. Thinking of the future for the orphanage, maintenance and projects for upkeep of the orphanage, keeping kids safe and healthy, keeping an organized budget for ourselves and the orphanage, having the responsibility of organizing and creating lessons for teenage small groups for 3 days of the week here at the orphanage, writing bible studies or sermons for our church congregation, and in the midst of all that—older or younger, whining or cheerful, respectful or not, we are attempting to raise 61 children in Christ.

We are not just raising your typical child. They are all here because their parents are dead, their parent(s) got sick and couldn’t work to pay to feed them, they were severely abused and/or beaten, they were once slaves, or their parents just simply didn’t want them and abandoned them. These 61 kids were left with no say in the matter, they have so much baggage that we cannot fathom— these are the kind of kids we are raising. Don’t get me wrong, it sounds terrible in description, but raising these kids is so much fun to be a part of, and I am learning a lot. They love to be loved; they need love and want love. They want hugs and kisses; they want to color pictures with you and for you, and they need to be given medicines when they are sick; they want help with writing their names, wisdom for their futures ahead, and last but of course never the least, they need and seek guidance in their paths with Christ. There are many challenges we face in this task, but it’s also very beautiful that we get to be a part of it.

I don’t have enough words or time to describe to you every single one of these beautiful children, but I do want to introduce you to a couple of my new, sweet, kids I have had the pleasure to meet, love, and have them love me while I have been living here. If you desire to know or hear more about any of them, please feel free to ask me or just come see them for yourself J

So let me begin by introducing you to Wenchy. He is a 7 year old little boy. Wenchy is actually his nickname; his real name is Gehovany—not quite sure why he goes by Wenchy, but it suits him just perfectly. He loves to giggle, play jokes, teach me Creole; he gives the best hugs and is so polite. When Wenchy saw me come out of my house the other day, he gave me the biggest smile and face of surprise—I feel very special every time come into contact with one another. On top of everything else wonderful about Wenchy, he speaks some really great English. Recently, Jillian and I taught him to say “Duhhh” if anyone asks him if he can speak English— it’s pretty hilarious. Here’s another awesome Wenchy story: the other night to start our devotional Hunter asked Wenchy to lead us (an entire group of 65 people, including adults, teenagers and children) in a prayer. Let me just tell you, I don’t know much Creole, but man was he preaching it—all the kids, even the teenagers clapped for him after he finished praying. Praising God, having community, fellowship, and encouragement with and from his brothers and sisters around him, witnessing this 7 year old little boy pray was beautiful beyond description.

Meet Jhonny. Jhonny is a very smart 10 year old boy. He ventures to create many different things in his love for sewing; he learned to sew from some of the teams who have come in and done sewing lessons with the kids; he has made several pillowcase purses to sell, and he also made me 3 pillowcases—they are made with love, and will be by far my favorite items I bring home from Haiti. Jhonny is also going through what I would call a “teenage life crisis”. He is sometimes “too cool” to talk to me, or at times is pretty disrespectful to me. At the beginning of my time here he saw me as only another visitor passing through, so a lot of his disrespect stemmed from him guarding his heart from the hurt of connecting with someone else and losing them after a week or two of having their full attention. He is an amazing kid whom will continue to flourish and learn so much as he grows in life with his very ambitious and intuitive nature.

Now enough about boys let me tell you about a couple of the amazingly sweet girls I have grown to love so much.

 If Haiti had Haiti’s Next Top Model little Chedeline would win for sure. At only 8 years old she seriously is drop dead gorgeous, and not only that she has a smile that is so kind and genuine that I can’t even describe to you the amount of love that I get just through that sweet gesture of hers. She loves to give much of her time to help anyone. She helped me up to my house the other day with my groceries, and afterwards I let her sit down, color pictures and eat some candy. Because she was so happy to bet there, with me and my undivided attention to her, she could not even concentrate on what she was doing while coloring her picture. I would catch her watching me move around my house, then our eyes would meet and she would just smile so big. She wants and needs a lot of love and attention, especially a girl at her age, and I am so happy to be able to invite her into my home and help her to sustain that stability in her life.

A couple weeks ago, baby Biverly was not feeling well for a few days with a fever most likely from teething; I have learned that fevers here in Haiti are much harder to fight off because of not being able to escape the heat. Thus meaning she was fussy, tired, and in much need to be able to get a good night’s rest in a cooler and quieter place. Of course I volunteered for her to sleep with me; it was just not even an option for that baby to sleep without a fan with a fever like that. Biverly is the youngest here at the orphanage at 1 ½ years old, so that alone can tell you why I connect with her so much. She depends on someone to care for her at all times, and how could I not want a hand in that. Her innocence is so precious, her love for life is so wholesome, and I find myself striving to protect the purity and joy in this little one’s life. But to see the way the older kids step up, take initiative to care for her, and love her is so encouraging to me, and I am very confident that this little toddler will have no problem in having a successful and promising future ahead.

So that’s it, me attempting to give you a snapshot of my life here in Haiti, of why I love it so much, and how it takes no convincing from anyone for me to consider staying here and pursuing a permanent placement. It’s all in God’s hands, and we will see what He wants for my path, but I ask that you please pray for my future here at CHCH. My prayer is that God will so boldly show me what He wants for my life, for me to allow Him to take control and for me to willingly stand back and follow Him. Pray for me to gain His guidance, wisdom and discernment in this big decision.

I thank you in advance for all of your prayers, and I cannot wait to see what God’s answers are. The opportunity for me to come live and work here as a missionary will require a substantial amount of financial support, so please help me in spreading my story and the opportunity that lies before me— I need as much support and encouragement I can get to start confidently in my journey ahead.

Here they are! From left to right, Wenchy, Jhonny, Chedeline, and Biverly, and YES this is the best picture I could get out of them! J

What's first on your priority list?

I have been exploring my priorities here lately. In my first week of being here, I have often caught myself thinking, “Oh, I need this, or I really need to email my mom and let her know she needs to send me this.” Over and over again this list of needs would grow and grow in my head. For one, this is again another instance where satan is trying to intervene in my weaknesses--such as my cravings and wants for foods that I would never really care for or think of at home, wanting cleaners of all the sorts to clean this filthy place so I don’t feel dirty or get sick, or items such as books and movies for my own pleasure.

 But I believe God is reaching out to teach me something.

I think and say I need those things, yet I have made it this whole week just fine without them. So, do I really NEED them? Nope, I in fact don’t need any of it.

 I haven’t just learned that there are items in my life that I think I want and need and will rid of, but I can see that I need a major readjustment in prioritizing my life. God speaks a very harsh truth in Revelation 3:15-16 that is hard for me to hear at times, especially now, “I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.”

God doesn’t want me when I want idols or when other things rule in my life before him. My actions and “deeds” at this point are equivalent to me saying to the kids here at the CHCH, “I love you, but not more than I love my food in America.”  I mean really, to think you need or want food more than people and community, how crazy can I get (especially with these precious little ones surrounding me). Idols then effortlessly strays my thoughts into something else I have been challenged and stretched with, relationships.

Anyone can so easily put moms, dads, sisters, brothers, children, boyfriends, husbands, friends, family (the list could go on and on) in front of God. Ok, we have all heard this a million, gazillion times, but seriously Jesus boldly states in Matthew 10:36 “Well-meaning family members can be your worst enemies.”  Meaning, anyone who has an important earthly relationship is tempted to prioritize them before God. For us to replace God with family or friends can be detrimental to our faith—that is why he says that they can be our worst enemy. Satan delves in our weaknesses and will fight to figure out who and what mean the most to us; he will always try his best, with possible success, to push items and relationships that lure us to place them first before God. My prayer is that we will take these words of Jesus very seriously, place Him above all else and rearrange Him #1 on our priorities list, and understand how to succeed in this challenge that is so prevalent at times in our lives.

After God gave me an open mind to learn what the idols in my life were and what I was so shamefully doing, I also saw how selfish I was becoming by worshipping them.

I am embarrassed to say that I am living in a 3^rd world country where my neighbors don’t have half or any of the luxury items I do, and I continue to want more. I want this, I want that, and I need this and that. I, I, I. I cannot tell you how many times I have said these phrases and have had to stop and say to myself—this is not about you Tabitha.

 So God so humbly showed me what I needed to see after church this morning about this issue that keeps coming up in my world. “For this very reason, (that reason being Jesus) making every effort to add to your faith, goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self control; to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. That last verse really struck me; if I make efforts to whip my self-control into shape over my idols, continue to strive to give all the love in my heart to the people I come into contact with here, and keep sustaining and striving toward being better in all these qualities (that I am seriously lacking right now) God will help provide for me to be more effective and productive in my life.

I don’t know if any of these battles are going on in your life right now, but they are in mine. Yet, it is discouraging at times to see all these embarrassing, shameful, ridiculous things that I have and continue to let happen in my walk of faith, but God is only disciplining me. He is ultimately leading me to experience all of these trials to help me learn to be more obedient to Him. “Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons” Hebrews 12:7-8. So here at last I see that I am God’s daughter, He loves me, and He will always be coming up with ways, even if I must fall down, get hurt and fall some more for me to learn more about my walk with Him.

That is why I face what I face; God only wants what’s best for me. So it’s back to the basics: 1. I need to love God and prioritize Him first in my life 2. I need to love others as I do myself.  Sounds easy enough, right?  It seems as though these basics aren’t so basic when we can so easily forget and replace them.

My first thoughts on Haiti..

Well I really don't know what I was expecting when coming to a 3rd world country, but my experience in traveling and being in Haiti is much different than I have expected it to be. My flight over was quite interesting. Let me first say that I absolutely LOVE the organization that I flew with, MFI, they are a really friendly and caring organization, and I highly recommend them if you are thinking of traveling to Haiti. But as you all may or may not know, the flight was delayed a couple days because of the storm that was coming through the Caribbean last week, and we found out why on the flight over.

We had to be at the airport at 6 a.m. to get checked-in and luggage loaded; we boarded the plane around 7:15 a.m., and mind you this is no ordinary plane, this plane is an older and smaller plane than your average 747, and from what I recall the pilot said he has been flying it for over 10 years now. It does have a bathroom and some space to move about the cabin though, and we had a beverage of choice, donuts and wonderful service. But it wasn't too soon into the first leg of the trip, that we found out why MFI delayed the flight. We ran into the storm (obviously much more mild than what it had originated to be or we wouldn't have been flying in it) right before we made it to our pit stop for fuel in the Bahamas. And to make it short, the turbulence was so bad that a few barf bags had to be used. I mean I didn’t get sick, but I was clenching my seat. I mean to describe how crazy it was, the man sitting next to me said, "I have been flying with MFI since 2000, and I come to Haiti 8 or 9 times per year, and this is the 2^nd  worse flight I have ever experience with them” (from turbulence only of course). So yea, barf bags were used. I mean really, I look at barf bags on planes all the time and think, “Why do they have these things?” Welp, now I for sure know why, for BAD turbulence.

 And since this plane is older, slower, flying at a lower altitude, and doesn’t have the cabin pressure control planes have today, to say it lightly, this flight was one of a kind. Because the plane didn't have pressure control within the cabin, the temperature that it was outside was the temperature inside the plane. So it started out pretty hot, even at 7 in the morning in Florida, but when we were in the air it was a bit chilly, because the higher you go up into the atmosphere the cooler it gets. So after the hot start, turbulence, and our first leg of the trip, we landed in Exuma, Bahamas. Because of all the limitations the plane has, the trip had to be separated into two legs to stop for fuel. I'm sure you can imagine what it was like when we landed there with the lack of pressure control, VERY HOT. So we landed, got off the plane, refueled, got back on the plane, and we were off the ground again in about 15 minutes. From the previous bumpy ride, some of the passengers, me included, were a tad fearful about the second leg of the trip; the pilot then reassured us that we were scot-free of anymore turbulence--we made it all the way through and passed the storm in the first trip!

The flight in total was about 4 hours, so we landed in Cap around 11ish. We got off the plane to go through customs, or what they call customs..they looked at my green card, my passport, stamped them, and that was that, they let me into their country. About 45 minutes after my arrival, I grew anxious to see Hunter and Jillian. I was waiting on the other small cargo plane that followed for the rest of my luggage. Finally, I see the familiar face I grew so impatient to see--Jillian peaks her head around the corner with searching eyes, and a peace that I can't describe just comforted my heart when I saw her. I guess with being in such an unfamiliar place, with people or a language I do not know was making me a bit on edge, but God knew where I was at and always provides at just the right time.

Ever since I came into contact with Hunter and Jillian they have provided such a blanket of peace over me I can't even begin to describe; they are such giving, kind, caring, comforting, easy-going, fun individuals, so of course God perfectly placed people like them for me to feel confident and comfortable that I am right where He wants me. Hunter and Jillian have sacrificed A LOT to be here with these kids--they have limited access or live without, A/C, purified water, hot water, many nutritious foods (Hunter has lost 50 lbs the past 7 months), and so many more wonderful amenities that we so easily take advantage of in America. The words above that I used to describe this couple are so few and far between to relay just what wonderful and amazing people they are. God has truly blessed me with these beautiful individuals to help me along in this journey ahead.

So I climb into the back of a large truck while in a skirt to start my journey in Haiti off just right, dust is constantly flying in my eyes as we head to our destination; I'm taking in the smells, and I'm watching as the debris, dogs, roosters, chickens, men, women, and children of all ages share the dirt roads together--this was merely the beginning of introduction to this country.

We then arrive at the orphanage, and the kids are so happy to see us and some were even shouting my name from afar to get my attention. To start, Hunter and Jillian wanted to show me where I would be living for the next 5 months. It is a big dorm style apartment--I have my own room and bed, but in the same apartment there are several more rooms with several more beds, a common room, bathroom, and kitchenette. Hunter has done an amazing job at fixing up the bathroom, patching up holes, and cleaning up the place, but again, completely caught off guard, I had no idea I wouldn't have A/C. It is just such a staple item in my life that I didn't even think twice about it. They also reminded me not to drink the water out of the sinks or showers because they don't quite have the funds yet for a purifying system for the dorms or directors housing, so we drink only from large jugs of purified water.

Now to the exciting part, we toured the compound, and I got to meet some of the kids. To my dismay, again, I was a bit taken aback. Yet a happy, loving, ever-present motivation settles and surrounds the walls of this orphanage, the environment was much more worn down than I assumed it to be. If you are reading this and you have a gift of any sort and you feel called to Haiti, come, come give to and help these amazing people of God at the Cap Haitien Children's Home. They need your help and love. There is a Haitien staff around during the day and night to help out, cook, and do laundry for and with the kids, but it’s not your normal "dorm parent" set up that you may see most in orphanages today--the kids have to work together, take care of one another, be part of a team, be a family.

Bottom line, there is just no comparison in reading, thinking about, or looking at pictures verses actually experiencing a place like Haiti. I don't know if it's that I have been so overly blessed in my life that I just couldn't think outside of my comfortable little box, or that I just couldn't fathom or understand what Haiti would be like without actually being here to experience it for myself, but the detriment here is far worse than I could fully understand or imagine without actually physically being present here.

Here I go...

So a lot of people were asking me before I left...how are you feeling--are you excited, scared? Well yes, both, but kind of indifferent, because most trips I am wired and stressed in my last minute preparations, but really I have been calm, at peace, prepared, and ready to go...all thanks and glory go to God and the beautiful people He has placed in my life to help encourage, love, give, care, and love some more to help me be at the emotional and spiritual resting place that I am in.

                                                                                               

But I must say, I am there now, but satan is really good at his job. I can find that it is very evident that satan was, is and will continue to try to break me down in any way he possibly can as I prepare to leave. For example, I sit right now waiting in my hotel room in Florida, thinking I am going to start my journey onward to Haiti tomorrow, but Tropical Storm Emily stands in the way. So I won't be there till at least Saturday now. It's just another one of satan's plans to try and sway my trust in God, to place fear in my heart because of the dangers of the environment that is about to surround me, to doubt my presence and plans in traveling to Haiti, because it's put on hold for a few more unexpected days; it's time for him to try and invade my faith in this time alone waiting to go. But God is good and really excellent at His job. He really is quite amazing in His protection for His people. Because I am only human these thoughts have obviously been a thought, but only a blip of a thought, because I really have a peace that I cannot begin to describe. The sweet people at MFI (the missionary flight service that I am flying on) told me this morning with this sad, pitied look, "Sorry sweetie, we won't be leaving till Saturday because of the storm coming through." You know my normal, human, "Tabitha" reaction would have been to react with fear, anxiety, and impatience, but God seriously right then and there provided His presence over me, and I just calmly said with a smile on my face, "I completely understand. It's better to be safe than sorry." I called and arranged to keep my rental car for longer, walked into the hotel and added couple more days of stay and that’s that..everything was that easy. This is only one of many times over the past 8 or so months that satan has attempted to pull me down and take me away from this journey. 

But God reveals Himself every time and He has provided me with many, many amazing comforts and experiences for me to say, “Okay God, I get it. This is where you want me." Just yesterday, I had just said goodbye to my family, gone through security, and was sitting in the waiting area only minutes till I boarded the plane from Nashville to Florida to begin my travels to Haiti, and I hear my name--"Tabitha?” I look up and it's Todd Garrett..an eager, wonderful, and encouraging friend from Ethos (my church that I am going to miss dearly) with this big smile on his face and said, "Is this you, going to Haiti, right now?!" Anyway, after Todd and I chat for a minute or two about my plans and his, he asked if he could pray over me. Seriously, in the airport about to walk onto my plane, I don't call that a coincidence...that's my God at work, comforting me, protecting me. 

Isn't funny how satan tries to weasel his way in, but in the end when the plan is God's plan, he can't win.