I have been exploring my priorities here lately. In my first week of being here, I have often caught myself thinking, “Oh, I need this, or I really need to email my mom and let her know she needs to send me this.” Over and over again this list of needs would grow and grow in my head. For one, this is again another instance where satan is trying to intervene in my weaknesses--such as my cravings and wants for foods that I would never really care for or think of at home, wanting cleaners of all the sorts to clean this filthy place so I don’t feel dirty or get sick, or items such as books and movies for my own pleasure.
But I believe God is reaching out to teach me something.
I think and say I need those things, yet I have made it this whole week just fine without them. So, do I really NEED them? Nope, I in fact don’t need any of it.
I haven’t just learned that there are items in my life that I think I want and need and will rid of, but I can see that I need a major readjustment in prioritizing my life. God speaks a very harsh truth in Revelation 3:15-16 that is hard for me to hear at times, especially now, “I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.”
God doesn’t want me when I want idols or when other things rule in my life before him. My actions and “deeds” at this point are equivalent to me saying to the kids here at the CHCH, “I love you, but not more than I love my food in America.” I mean really, to think you need or want food more than people and community, how crazy can I get (especially with these precious little ones surrounding me). Idols then effortlessly strays my thoughts into something else I have been challenged and stretched with, relationships.
Anyone can so easily put moms, dads, sisters, brothers, children, boyfriends, husbands, friends, family (the list could go on and on) in front of God. Ok, we have all heard this a million, gazillion times, but seriously Jesus boldly states in Matthew 10:36 “Well-meaning family members can be your worst enemies.” Meaning, anyone who has an important earthly relationship is tempted to prioritize them before God. For us to replace God with family or friends can be detrimental to our faith—that is why he says that they can be our worst enemy. Satan delves in our weaknesses and will fight to figure out who and what mean the most to us; he will always try his best, with possible success, to push items and relationships that lure us to place them first before God. My prayer is that we will take these words of Jesus very seriously, place Him above all else and rearrange Him #1 on our priorities list, and understand how to succeed in this challenge that is so prevalent at times in our lives.
After God gave me an open mind to learn what the idols in my life were and what I was so shamefully doing, I also saw how selfish I was becoming by worshipping them.
I am embarrassed to say that I am living in a 3rd world country where my neighbors don’t have half or any of the luxury items I do, and I continue to want more. I want this, I want that, and I need this and that. I, I, I. I cannot tell you how many times I have said these phrases and have had to stop and say to myself—this is not about you Tabitha.
So God so humbly showed me what I needed to see after church this morning about this issue that keeps coming up in my world. “For this very reason, (that reason being Jesus) making every effort to add to your faith, goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self control; to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. That last verse really struck me; if I make efforts to whip my self-control into shape over my idols, continue to strive to give all the love in my heart to the people I come into contact with here, and keep sustaining and striving toward being better in all these qualities (that I am seriously lacking right now) God will help provide for me to be more effective and productive in my life.
I don’t know if any of these battles are going on in your life right now, but they are in mine. Yet, it is discouraging at times to see all these embarrassing, shameful, ridiculous things that I have and continue to let happen in my walk of faith, but God is only disciplining me. He is ultimately leading me to experience all of these trials to help me learn to be more obedient to Him. “Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons” Hebrews 12:7-8. So here at last I see that I am God’s daughter, He loves me, and He will always be coming up with ways, even if I must fall down, get hurt and fall some more for me to learn more about my walk with Him.
That is why I face what I face; God only wants what’s best for me. So it’s back to the basics: 1. I need to love God and prioritize Him first in my life 2. I need to love others as I do myself. Sounds easy enough, right? It seems as though these basics aren’t so basic when we can so easily forget and replace them.
No comments:
Post a Comment